Team Dick

Oogirish Night

Posted by @ 9:07 AM on May 14, 2013

J-BUROGU has translated a second episode of Oogirishi Night from he Japanese television variety show God Tongue. God Tongue airs after midnight and, as a result, can get away with airing more adult-themed shows that usually edge on the border of perverse for the first thirty seconds, then fire the jet engines and blast well beyond that border into the aether.

In Oogirishi Night a panel of comedians are given a topic and need to come up with a response that is both perverse and funny, but not so perverse as to cross the boundary into which the joke is no longer funny.

Enjoy.

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The Greatest Insanity

Posted by @ 8:58 AM on May 14, 2013

Gentlemen,

I present to you the Lamborghini Egoista. It’s a concept car from Lamborghini and it represents the very best of childhood toy car fantasy transformed into physical reality. Click through and check out the photo gallery up on autoblog.

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Maybe I Should Keep My Receipts

Posted by @ 6:52 PM on Apr 26, 2013

I recently purchased a gift card that comes with the logo of a major credit card company on the front. My hope was to purchase a game online, that can only be purchased online, and do so without having to give up my personal information. A week later and the card still isn’t working. I call the number on the card and the operator tells me that no money was ever put on the card. It had not been activated. To resolve this he provided a list of items I would need to fax (who the fuck still uses a fax?) in order to resolve the situation. First item on the list? The receipt, which I promptly threw away the day I bought the thing. Item 4 on that list? My driver’s license. Fuck me.

So I’m out 25 bucks plus the 3.95 activation fee, but when I went to a different store to buy another gift card and this time I kept the receipt. Until 30 minutes later I had successfully used it to purchase the game I was after in the first place.

Save those fucking receipts. If I still had the original receipt I wouldn’t have faxed that shit, I’d just have returned to the store I originally bought it.

And now for some funny.

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Enthusiastic Teachers Batsu Game Subtitled!

Posted by @ 11:14 PM on Apr 24, 2013

In January I wrote about the annual batsu game for the Japanese variety show Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!. At the time you could find a copy of the show online, but nobody had yet translated the show into English, a job that typically takes a team of translators months to do. Well it’s been months and thankfully Team Gaki undertook the challenge and have released full subtitles for the show!

You can find the subtitles (and a link to the torrent for the video itself) at the Team Gaki site.

The team has also kindly provided notes that go along with the subtitles here and here. They will help explain the cultural references being made so that you can better understand the situations going on in the show.

More Gaki no Tsukai

J-BUROGU has translated a two-part show of Hamada on trial for being a horrible person. You can find part 1 here and part 2 here.

Long story short: Hamada is a dick.

This isn’t the only time Hamada has been put on trial. It’s become something of an annual tradition, each one being a two-parter filled with stories of Hamada being a dick. They’re fucking funny (and a little shocking).

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Apologies Not Included

Posted by @ 1:04 AM on Apr 20, 2013

It took over 60 hours to render this 30-second clip which uses some of the highest precision maths available to achieve unparalleled realism. Were I to drop several dozen glossy, pink, rubber dongs in such formation on a white background they would almost certainly fall exactly like this.

And an how appropriate for a blog with a title like ours?

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Eloquence Personified

Posted by @ 1:00 AM on Apr 20, 2013

If you’re not following The Iron Shiek already you’re missing out on the single greatest twitterer in existence today or, perhaps, ever.

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He Speaks For Us All

Posted by @ 1:35 PM on Apr 16, 2013

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Swatting

Posted by @ 11:13 PM on Mar 19, 2013

Brian Krebs is a journalist who specializes in computer security. His blog, Krebs on Security, is worth a bookmark even if you’re not into computer security. If nothing else, it will help expand your knowledge of all things related to that metal box sitting next to you that lets you play on the internet. That’s not a bad thing.

Recently Krebs profiled a web site that specializes in providing personal information about people (for a small fee). With such information it’s possible to gain even more personal information such as full credit reports. Such a scenario was recently put on stage with the news of celebrity credit records being posted online.

Not long after Krebs’ report went online he found his web site being DDoSed (flooded with massive amounts of traffic to the point it became inaccessible to anyone). Some people apparently didn’t like what Krebs was writing about. This was nothing that Krebs hadn’t experienced before. What was new about this particular experience was opening his front door a day later and finding himself staring down the barrel of a police officer’s gun. He had been SWATed.

Continued on the inside…

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Death Jerky

Posted by @ 7:55 PM on Feb 20, 2013

I tore off the top of the thick, plastic bag and immediately popped the first piece of dehydrated meat into my mouth. I sat the bag down next to my keyboard and continued on with my internet travels. On occasion I would pop another piece into my mouth. The sixth piece caught my eye. One end of it was covered in what looked like a thin layer of cotton. It certainly peeled off the meat like cotton. I was just about to pop the now naked meat into my mouth, but then a small suggestion in the back of my head trickled forward and suggested I look into the bag o’ meat. There I saw that mass of meat pieces, stuck together to form a single entity, were covered on either side of the two-dimensional bag with more white cotton. I was confused at first. It took a good thirty seconds for the next suggestion to trickle forward: inspect the bag. It didn’t take long. I flipped it over and saw it. A long slice right down the middle. Probably made by the person opening the box containing these packages of jerky with an appropriately named “box cutter”.

There were only two questions left to answer. What the fuck was it and how lethal was the unknown amount that had already passed my lips.

Continued on the inside…

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Enthusiastic Teachers

Posted by @ 1:01 AM on Jan 15, 2013

Turns out that the whole Mayan apocalypse didn’t happen so I must now return to blogging.

Welcome 2013. And as is customary, 2013 started off with a 6 hour long Gaki no Tsukai special batsu (punishment) game. This annual event dates back to 2003 and typically involves the main cast of the show having to spend 24 hours not laughing in an environment designed to specifically make them laugh. And every time they do laugh the a masked man appears and smacks their ass (the punishment) with some large, rubbery object. You can read a bit more on these batsu games in this post I wrote a couple years back.

So what was this year’s scenario?

Continued on the inside…

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